Who Let the Dogs Out and Why Aren't They Barking?

Do you remember the "Seinfeld" episode in which Elaine was constantly being kept awake by a neighbor's barking dog? As I recall, she enlisted the help of Kramer to 'take care of the problem' for her. Of course, it was Newman who actually masterminded the plan to kidnap the little dog and 'relocate' him out of the city. For those of us who might share Elaine's problem, is there a solution other than hiring a 'hit man' to kidnap the offending dog(s)?

According to the folks at www.ultimatebarkcontrol.com, there is. "Stop yours or your neighbor's dog from barking now. The entire neighborhood will thank you", headlines their home page. "You'll rediscover peace and quiet with our highly requested bark control devices. Compared to other anti-bark products that are ineffective and painful, our bark control units are humane and proven to eliminate nuisance barking.

We even include a money back guarantee! Act now to solve your barking problems today. (Here, I'm assuming they're referring to the 'barking problems' of a dog, not the consumer, but you never know...)

In order to 'safely train your dog or your neighbor's dog to stop barking, yapping, howling or whining', we are strongly encouraged to purchase their "New!" Dog Silencer Pro. The trademarked Pro, pictured directly below a photo of what appears to be a boxer mix dog who looks like he may have something to whine about, looks very much like a baby monitor. "Only our exclusive Bark Recognition Technology detects barking up to three times further than any other anti-bark device available today."

Interestingly enough, especially since the Pro is a brand new, state of the art device, the normal price is $420, but "our LOW price just $89.95". Wow. With a price break like that, you might want to consider purchasing the Pro even if you live nowhere near a dog.

What do you get for your $89.95? The device trains dogs to stop barking in a humane way by emitting a high pitched sonic and - and! - ultrasonic sounds in direct response to every bark from the dog. (The sounds are inaudible to humans, thank goodness).