When Breaking Up is Your New Year's Resolution

The end of a love relationship is a devastating occurrence, no matter who does the leaving. When breaking up is your New Year's resolution, you have realized that the relationship quite possibly has already died, yet up to this moment in time, neither you nor your partner were willing or able to admit to the steady decline of the love and affection that was found, and therefore the shell of the relationship and the outward appearance was preserved.

It is irrelevant if you were just dating, already living together or perhaps have been sharing house and life for decades: deciding to call it quits will cause an emotional turmoil that can be overwhelming, even if you know that you are doing the right thing.

Perhaps one of the greatest fallacies perpetuated by self help magazines and books is the myth that each break up can be cured in pretty much the same way; usually exhorting the female to go out, spend a bunch of money on getting dolled up, and then reestablishing a sense of self worth brought on by the admiring glances of others. While this negates the deeper pain that is felt, it also encourages rebound relationships, which are almost always doomed to fail from the start.

Instead, there is a three-fold approach that promises a true healing from the inside out which does not rely on the quick outward fix and will have you continue on with your New Year invigorated by a loss you knew you had to incur.

First and foremost is a change in your perception. Acknowledge the fact that your partner is gone and come to terms with the fact that missing her or him is normal. It does not mean that your decision to break up was a mistake but it just points to the fact that someone to whom you were accustomed will no longer be in your life in the same way as before.