Tips for Talking About Sex with Your Children

The other day my six year old, yes six, came home very upset and began recounting a story of what had happened to her in the classroom that day with her desk mates. These were young boys, also six, who apparently are much less sheltered than my daughter was until yesterday. She began to tell me that one little boy described seeing his naked sister and the other told how he had caught his parents naked too and in the act of sex.

Now, my daughter has asked questions in the past concerning her own body and I have never shyed away from being completely age appropriately honest with her. However, we have never discussed sex. We talked about good touch and bad touch, how no one has the right to touch her body or see her naked. I never expected to have to broach such a subject with her at such a tender age. Having been caught completely off guard by her inquiry, "Mommy what is sex and it isn't about being naked is it?" I stood in stunned silence for a moment before I answered, "When a man and a woman are married they have sex to show they love one another and to have babies. It's like kissing and hugging." I thought this would be the end of it until she then asked, "But you aren't naked are you?" Great! What do I say and how do I say it?, I thought. I gave her a quick answer of yes and left the room so that I could think and do a little research on how to age appropriately discuss this with her without scarring her for life. I needed a moment to catch my breath and then I prayed.

Basically, for a writer I am not a very good researcher. I can do the research but I hate it and I am very impatient. So after looking for about 30 minutes to no avail. I went to the office and called her in to do her homework and decided to talk with her alone. The conversation went very well and I thought I would share them with other parents who will inevitably struggle with this painfully uncomfortable topic with their children - hopefully when they are much older than six.

First, let your child be your guide.