The Newlywed Game: 7 Rules for a Successful First Year

When I was married last year, on several of my wedding cards a few well-meaning family members wrote comments like "Don't worry, the first year is the hardest," and "It's worth it and it does get easier." These phrases, said partially in jest, but mostly out of misguided support, planted a seed of fear in my heart. My husband and I had been together for four years - was married life really going to be any different? Well, needless to say, we survived our first year without a scratch on our relationship and I think there are seven key reasons we had such an easy time of it.

1. Allow Boy Nights (or Girl Nights).
You're married now, so you need to accept that he needs male bonding time. At the risk of being terribly cliché, he'll probably just go out to a smoky bar, have a few beers, play pool or poker, and tell a bunch of dirty jokes. Personally, I don't get much out of evenings like that, but if that's how he wants to spend an occasional evening with his friends, then I would hate to stand in his way. Of the same token, he must allow you to go on spa weekends and shopping trips with your girlfriends.

2. Never Go to Bed Angry.
This is such a crucial point for communication. You cannot let arguments and frustrations fester; if you don't solve them right away, they will come back. If you come to a point of discord, talk (or yell, if that helps) through it and come to a conclusion. Even if it's late and you're tired, you'll regret not coming to an agreement before you sleep.
3. Always Communicate About Money.
Money is consistently one of the biggest sources of marital discord, so be open and honest about your financial goals, your bank accounts, and personal debt. It's not "yours" and "mine" anymore. Budget together and talk openly about money- about what's going in and coming out, things you're saving for and planning for, and more. The steps you take now will ensure the financial security of your marriage in the years to come.