Being an Effective Advocate for Your Foster Child

There probably isn't a more powerless and voiceless group of people in America today than foster children. Neglected or abused by their parents or guardians and lost in a system strangled by red tape, ineffective laws and misplaced priorities, often these childrens' only hope of stability is their foster parents. Every child deserves love and security, and no child needs it more than foster children.

While every state is different, whether your government agency is called The Department of Family Services, Department of Social Services or known by another name, they all claim to work in the best interest of the child. Sadly, this rarely ever translates into reality.

Anyone who has ever been a foster parent quickly learns that the system isn't geared to focus on the child, but rather on the parent. Even the court system caters to the parents, who learn early in the process how to manipulate the system at the expense of their own children. They become very skilled at rescheduling court appearances to ensure that the children linger as long as possible in the system. Foster care is essentially used as a baby sitting service by many parents.

If your goal is to adopt your foster child, it is even more imperative that you learn exactly what you and your child's rights are, and how to use these rights to insure the best outcome for your foster child. There are also other things you need to know or do.

1. Read and study the laws regarding foster children for your state and be sure you understand them.

2. Keep a detailed record of any unusual behaviors or problems your foster child is experiencing, especially if they occur right before or after a visitation.

3. Join your county's Foster Parent Association. There is strength in numbers, and you are probably not the only one dealing with a particular issue.

4. Don't let yourself be intimidated by DFS. They often use intimidation to further their own agenda, even when it is not in the best interest of the child. (I was threatened with the removal of my foster daughter when I refused to take her to a scheduled visitation when she had a fever of 102.)