7 Steps Toward an Easier Divorce

With over 40% of United States marriages ending in divorce[1], many divorcees have found themselves looking for a panacea for their marital woes. Divorce support groups have sprung up across the nation offering counseling services for the soon-to-be-separated, while others have sought to capitalize on the divorcee-niche, selling ex-husband voodoo dolls and promoting "divorce parties" that resemble (ironically enough) bachelorette bashes[2].

While divorce has lost much of its taboo status in recent years, these celebrations of singlehood are often still just a brief respite from the reality of a huge life change.

So before you plan the party, what can you do to smooth out your divorce?

(1) Keep kids out of the fray.
Divorce is a hard time for you and your spouse, but it can be even more difficult for your children. Try to maintain a positive attitude around your kids, and make sure that your divorce isn't the sole focus of your relationship. Similarly, don't give in to the temptation to harp on your spouse's flaws-it can put your children in a very uncomfortable position at a time when they need loving support from both parents. If your children are curious about the divorce, be open with them and answer their questions honestly. They are participants in the process as well, and they will appreciate your openness.

(2) Consider compromise.
When dividing assets or negotiating child custody and visitation, it is almost inevitable that conflict will arise between spouses. Become the bigger person by being the first to suggest a compromise. Although it may be difficult to concede anything to your spouse, especially if your divorce was inspired by infidelity or abuse, a willingness to bargain will save you time, money, and a lot of stress. That said, don't succumb to every demand that your spouse makes. Consider your options and choose your battles wisely.