A Father's Influence

Being a father is one of life's greatest gifts. Teaching a child to ride a bike, helping with homework and attending their first school play are just a few examples of the joyous occasions that bring a smile to a dad's face. The pride that wells up in their heart when their child makes the honor roll, when his daughter is crowned homecoming queen or when the acceptance into a prestigious university becomes a reality. The love that a father holds in his heart is often accompanied by loyalty to his children. He is reliable, trusted and dependable.

This description of a father is somewhat of a fairytale to many children. Theirs are absent, disconnected or neglectful. Many children grow up with a father who is addicted to drugs or alcohol. These vices have become his children. Everything else is non-existent and pale in comparison to the feeling he has when he is intoxicated. The time that should be spent playing games, reading stories and attending school functions is being spent searching for a way to purchase drugs or trying to find the next social affair. His mind is sedated without the ability to think clearly or to comprehend how his conduct is not only self destructive but is also destroying his child.

Children that live with this type of father struggle with insecurity, a fear of rejection and the inability to trust. They look to their fathers for guidance, support and love but instead they receive disappointment, discouragement and often abuse. The desperately try to change their own behavior in hopes that this will change his. They help out more around the house, do better in school and try to be the perfect child. They believe if they succeed in this he'll stop his addictive ways. But the sad reality is, it isn't the child's behavior that needs to be changed.