Older Gay Man Aren't Invisible

An old gay man?

Gay and straight media have both decided they don't exist. Well, almost all media has made that determination. This month's Instinct proved that wrong. It profiled 72-year-old Jim Young. Young unintentionally prompted the story. He'd written a letter, which noted older gay men had become invisible. Young reminded Instinct that while he and many other gay men may be old and queer - they're still here. That wasn't news to me.

Though I'm a 30-year-old African-American gay man, I'm no stranger to older gay men. My partner, Jim, is 65. Sugardaddy. I know that's the first word that popped into some of your heads (the ones you use to think with, LOL). But, no, love brought us together. It's a love that's been tested many times. It's a love and relationship that I don't believe needs justifying. So, to those harboring their "sugar daddy" stereotypes, have at it.

His value as a human being is what I love and have loved the most about him. I learned to appreciate him as a person because he wasn't the stereotypical queen obsessing over his looks and making sure he only associated with Brad Pitt wannabes. That's not to say he doesn't keep himself up. I think he's hot. Unfortunately, thanks to the media and a large section of the gay community, he's come to believe he's not a valuable part of the gay community. He's been getting this message: if you're not young, hot and hot-to-trot, you're just NOT.

I beg to differ. Being older doesn't make you useless. It's about time the pretty boys grasped that concept. Why? In only a matter of time, they could chasing after Chad, the hot, new nurse, in their wheelchair after taking the umpteenth pill. Those caught in a "Queer As Folk"-esque cocoon assume they'll maintain that pace forever. Thinking doesn't make it so. My Jim can't and doesn't want to maintain that pace. I don't blame him. The chance to be written off as worthless because you don't pass for Peter North is less than appealing. I don't savor the opportunity either.