Top 5 Lamest Scary Movies of All Time

Everyone loves a good scary movie--I've always been more of a fan of the terrible ones.

And, through a long relationship with HBO and AMC Halloween movie marathons, I've become quite familiar with some of the least scary movies in existence. Here are my picks for the least scary horror movies of all time.

5. Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991) - The original Nightmare on Elm Street was pretty scary, partially because the lead monster, a horribly burnt child molester named Freddy Krueger, was one of the most vicious and evil characters ever to be borne out of Wes Craven's horribly demented mind.

Someone should have told the makers of Freddy's Dead about the law of diminishing returns. By the time this 6th movie in the franchise had rolled around, Freddy had been reduced to a putzy, wisecracking goofball that cracked one liners like a Catskills comedian, even saying "Ha cha cha!" occasionally.

This film (which was supposed to be the last in the Nightmare franchise, though several have been made since) also features the most politically incorrect kill of Freddy Krueger's career, in which he murders a deaf kid by giving him supersensitive hearing. Coincidentally, "supersensitive" is not a word I'd use to describe this film--and I certainly wouldn't call it scary.

4. Maximum Overdrive (1986) - Stephen King movies are usually good for a scare or two, but not when he decides to direct them.

Maximum Overdrive is not the horror writer at his finest--the monsters in this movie are bloodthirsty trucks whose quest to end the human race begins when they are given sentient thought by a passing comet created by aliens. I'm being completely serious.

If you need more reasons that this film isn't scary, I'll just add that Emilio Estevez is in it and the entire soundtrack is done by AC/DC.

3. The Fear (1995) - The concept behind The Fear is actually a bit scary; an ancient, despicable evil terrorizes a group of teenagers by making their worst fears come to life.