7 Ways to Help People with Their Grief

When someone close to us has a death in the family, sometimes we don't know what to say, or sometimes we say the wrong things. Everyone handles grief in their own way. When it comes to grief, just be yourself and listen to what they might want to tell you. Try to think before you speak so you don't use the same old cliché like "It was God's will" or "God closes one door and opens another". You may have your heart in the right place, however, not all losses are the same, nor do we grieve in the same way. The griever is upset, and they may not want to think of God in a negative way. Or the griever may want to blame God. Or they may not even believe in God. A better way of saying these clichés would be "Some things just makes no sense and it's tragic for what you are going through" or "This must seem like more than you can handle". What it is important is to acknowledge their feelings and not give the possible reasons as to "why" it happened to them. Everyone has their own belief system, and sometimes they may just feel angry and don't want to know anything more.

Here are 7 ways you can help a person through their grief:

Be the initiator and tell them you will call them on a certain date to check on them. Don't just say, "Call me". They might second guess whether or not you really want to talk to them.

Be there for them if they call you. If you give an excuse once, make sure you reassure them and make another date.

Be a good listener. Sometimes silence on your part can be golden. The best therapy is when we talk about our grief; however they have to be ready to talk about it. Don't assume they want to hear about how you were able to get over your losses.

Avoid clichés like the above including some like, "I know how you feel because I also loss my ____. You have your heart in the right place; however, we really don't know how they feel. All we are doing is assuming they feel it the same as you have. I find just letting them know you are sorry for their loss is all you need to say. Here are some clichés and some better ways of saying it:

"He is happier now because he is with God." Try saying:

"You had a relationship that was meaningful and so much to be proud of."