Parenting Teenagers: the Honest Parenting Approach

We have a very popular seventeen-year-old son. He isn't a "jock"; he isn't, well we aren't sure why he is so popular, but he is. Anytime there is some type of election, it seems that he is asked to run and wins. We think the reason that kids like him so much is that when he sees one of them, his face literally beams; he really loves all the kids at his school and, apparently they reciprocate.

The preceding information is necessary to know in order to launch what I believe is a very difficult but very important topic; "Honest Parenting". What is "Honest Parenting"? It is consistency with your children and their friends and their friends' parents despite the potential results.

The curfew for young people our son's age is midnight. Our son's curfew is 11:55 P.M.; five minutes before the city curfew. Not all of his friends have a curfew and some have a curfew after midnight. I don't understand the rationale; however, my wife and I can only be responsible for our child.

Where does "Honest Parenting" play a role?

A few days ago I received a phone call from the mother of one of our son's friends who happened to be a girl. The mother was somewhat irate with all the parents because her daughter had told her that no other kid in the school had a curfew; what were we all thinking? I advised her that, in fact, our son did have a curfew. Upon learning that, her daughter got "in trouble". Our son wasn't happy with me for telling the truth to the other parent; of course that was how things had to be handled.

As an "Honest Parent" you have to be committed to consistency. Your child is in an environment where the kids and their parents are always jockeying for different end results and you can never be sure what they are, so, all you can do is make sure that you are consistent and honest in your approach to the various situations; despite what the result may be.

We want our son to be popular and happy but not at the risk of his safety.