Women Don't Want Their Breasts to Pop Out: News?

A week or so ago, I was browsing a site reserved for popular, and or breaking news in the fashion industry.

This is what I discovered. Apparently, when wearing a low-cut or wrap around blouse, women would rather that their boobs NOT pop out. Who knew? Well, seems that the fashion industry didn't know. But, having caught wind of this alarming news--they've gotten right on it. The situation, after much brainstorming, experimentation, and I'm assuming more than a few power-point presentations--has now been rectified.

Thus, the birth of a truly genius invention. This new product, will most likely go global-- promising to thwart the escape of even the most willful of freedom-seeking boobs. Ladies and Gentleman, I present to you--The Bosom Button.

The Bosom Button is actually a pin. Much like a tie tack, it is a decorative head attached to a push-through pin, with a separate clasp (or 'back') to hold it in place. It is designed to be strategically placed on the blouse, between, yet slightly above the breasts--at that exact place where the blouse sags, or gapes. Brilliant. Each Bosom Button is handmade with a Swarovski crystal, and is eight millimeters in diameter. Available at bosombutton.com (seriously), it currently comes in ten colors: Crystal, Silver, Topaz, Jet Black, White Pearl, Rose, Fuchsia, Amethyst, Peridot, and Aqua.

I found writing about the Bosom Button to be an irresistible temptation on many levels. These are three of them: 1) The fact that some women actually find this to be a wonderful invention; 2) That there are women physically analyzing it, and 3) That the only intelligent analysis that I could find was written by a man.

I will warn you that if you dislike articles riddled with direct quotes, you may want to stop reading. In this case, I simply couldn't help myself. If you're still here, in spite of the impending direct quotes, let's take a look at number one.

The Long-Awaited Bosom Button: Women Cheer