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Equal Parenting Rights Are Beneficial to Society and Children

Family Law in America

By DaddyBlogger.com, published Oct 15, 2007
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Does equal parenting rights legislation create cookie-cutter results in child custody determinations and family court? The outdated child custody laws from the 1970s in Michigan create the cookie cutter results. It was clear from last years HB5267 that the Family Law Section of Michigan was more concerned with the best interests of Michigan's attorney pocketbooks and not the best interests of children. The average person KNOWS this and that is why in poll after poll Michigan's voters are asking for some form of equal parenting legislation.

Congratulations to those who are at least looking for some form of a solution to the current problem. The system is broke; anyone with an ounce of common sense and the ability to talk to the average person who has been through the system knows this.

To the attorneys that are so concerned about "the best interests of the children" while keeping a close eye on their pocketbooks - you may want to embrace an equal parenting bill! In Denmark, effective October 2007, equal parenting became the norm via legislation and it has created a BOOM in business for lawyers helping those who were denied the right to EQUALLY love, guide, nurture and educate their child/children.

A judge, referee or FOC caseworker may think they are making decisions that are in the "best interests of the children" but there is no possible way to make this determination in the very short amount of time that they skim through the court documents. The feedback from society is that despite their best intentions they have failed miserably.

Some in Michigan have argued that, "Courts are already obligated by statute to give each parent sufficient time to promote a strong relationship." This is almost laughable. Surely you do not mean Michigan? 4-6 days a month is sufficient enough to promote a strong relationship? If you are given what is truly cookie-cutter, 4-6 days a month, it makes it very difficult to do so despite even the best of efforts.

 
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Takeaways
  • Why Equal Parenting Rights Are Needed in Society
  • Title IV-D Federal Incentives Drive Judicial Discretion in Family Court
  • After Divorce Most Children Are Forced to Spend the Majority of Their Time With One Parent
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Showing Comments 1 - 15 of 15
 
 
my situation is not about me. My friend had an agreement w/her ex. They had an abusive relationship. He ended up with custody and a new wife. He manipulated the courts to get custody. She accepted everything, she cried alot, but she was dealing w/it. Now he has taught their toddler son that the step mom IS his mom and his mom he call by her 1st name. He is so confused. He (the ex) has now trumped up charges that my friends now husband touch their kids in a bad way. This is so unthinkable since I know her now husband. He use to be my boyfriend. He has helped me as a bf and friend raise my own daughter (same age as hers) and has been around other children and never had an issue. My along with other including the dectives think the ex is just trying to find another way to abuse her. He did not bring any of this up until after he denied her, her Spring Break visit. He waited nearly a year to say anything and did not go to the police he went to the courts. Can anyone advise me how to help?

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Posted on 07/15/2008 at 12:07:51 PM

 
The Golden Legal Oversight Amendment for the Michigan Constitution is the only way to change the current situation in Michigan concerning the process of divorce. See www.michiganjustice.com for details. Theodore A. Golden, M.D.

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Posted on 11/11/2007 at 7:11:00 PM

 
I left my wife on September 13th 2006. I left her for a divorce which we were talking about for 3 years prior.We knew this was not working out and every day in the summer of 2006, my ex fought with my 9 year old boy. I broke up the fights. A month before I left, he pulled a large kitchen knife on her out of total frustration. I intervened. I reported it to his therapist and she denied that I did so. I filed with DSS Salem office about this abuse. As I was leaving, her two girlfriends were there. One went inside the apartment with her while one waited in the car. She said she was giving me til Adam came home from school to be gone and wanted me gone well before he did. She said she was going to find out her rights.I told her to remember our amicable divorce agreement. I was to be able to call my son everyday if he wished and see him. We were not going to use him as a weapon during the divorce. I left and called a day later, she told me that she got a restraining order against me

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Posted on 11/08/2007 at 9:11:00 AM

 
One very serious thing that has not been mentioned here at all is, what do the involved children want? I have two young daughters, and they both WANT to be here with their dad AT LEAST HALF of the time. I hear it from both my girls on a regular basis. Another thing not mentioned-it is a parent's fundamental right to have the right to the care and control (financial) of their children without government interference. Kelly and other doubters and opponents of Equal Parenting, have you ever heard of the U.S. Constitution, particularly the 14th. Amendment? Check out what the US Supreme Court said in the 2000 case of Troxel vs. Granville sometime. Family law courts must be special indeed-they don't feel they have to listen and abide by the decisions of the US SUPREME COURT? Lord help us all!! Phil Wurm, West Michigan Regional Director-A Child's Right.

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Posted on 10/19/2007 at 7:10:00 PM

 
Kelly M and others that don't believe children need the legal protection of equal parenting because parents should get along and co-parent are living in a fantasy world. Throwing out the baby with the bath water is what the current system does by allowing the supermajority of sole custody parents to deny children a truly significant relationship with the non-custodial parent because parents can not get along. The custodial parent having control over the children alienating the other parent is not in what is best for children and can only be prevented if both fit parents are presumed to be equal through legislation.

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Posted on 10/19/2007 at 3:10:00 PM

 
more difficult. More money in their pockets. You want to make a difference in a child's life come cycle to Washington, DC in 2008. And learn the truth why the system is not for the family. Cut the family tree and half. You don't have to have a doctor's degree to realize what is happening is wrong. On ethical and criminal. I will make a difference. You can to just with a little bit of effort. Ignorance is no excuse. Make a difference you must get involved. God bless you all. And most of all my daughter Claire dad loves you and will never quit. You can never take our love away from each other. Because it's in our heart not our wallets.

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Posted on 10/17/2007 at 7:10:00 PM

 
I would like to get in on this discussion too. As for "yo-yo's", there is actually less time spent going back and forth between parents with equal custody. One week with mom, one with dad, etc. (presuming same school district). There are actually FEWER trips back and forth with this!! Anyone who claims that children cannot have stability with mom AND dad, with a separate, complete, and secure HOME with each is not giving a child any credit at all! They are more resiliant than you are thinking, Kelly, especially if both mom and dad are loving, caring, provide proper guidance, and are fit, willing, and able. Let the proper proof, and evidence come forth in the proper arena of a hearing-no proof or evidence to show an unfit or unwilling parent, then LET THE PARENTS DECIDE WHAT IS BEST FOR THEIR KIDS, AND LET THE PARENTS RAISE THEIR CHILDREN, AS NATURE INTENDED!! No more false accusations, hearsay, or allegations made out of spite would apply. What a huge IMPROVEMENT this wou

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Posted on 10/17/2007 at 7:10:00 PM

 
I am disgusted with every elected official that is against a parenting bill that keeps my daughter from me. I am a good dad I brought a child into the world that was a gift by God. No one in this world has the right to keep me from my child. I have no mental illness and never been violent. Just because the state of Michigan and all other 50 states benefit by not given out joint legal physical custody is right down the criminal and on ethical. The bottom line is it's all about the court system making money . Both parents should have equal rights unless there is a mental illness or violence. How many people are accused of abuse or accused of some kind of sexual false allegations. It's higher than you would even imagine. This happened to friends of mine. And it's right down the criminal. Just to get an advantage in court. These lawyers that are making hundreds of thousands of dollars are on ethical and have no conscience at all. The only thing they want to do is make is much

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Posted on 10/17/2007 at 6:10:00 PM

 
(where the father gets two weekends a month plus some Wednesday evenings). Do the math; both plans have about the same number of shuttles between homes. An argument is also made that giving custody primarily to the mother promotes stability, but the need for stability is really a reason for shared custody. The stability of parental relationships is a great deal more important than contact with material things. " Kelly - I guess we will have to agree to disagree and move on. Angela

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Posted on 10/17/2007 at 5:10:00 PM

 
(cont from below) Mom and Dad have very unique features that contribute to a child's development and the majority of children benefit from a balanced diet of mom and dad and this is not disputed. Your statements seem rather general in nature, you assume since your case worked it is best and you cite AMA literature with no definition as to what you are exactly referring to. Phyllis Schlafly says it best:"When primary or sole custody is given to the mother, the father becomes merely a visitor in the child's life (that's why it's called "visitation"), whose only value is to mail a paycheck and be an occasional babysitter. The father loses his parental authority and fades out of his own child's life. An argument is sometimes made that shuttling back and forth between two homes may be upsetting or a nuisance, but there is no more shuttling with equal custody (where parents, for example, get alternating weeks) than with the typical mother-custody/father-visitation schedule (where the f

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Posted on 10/17/2007 at 5:10:00 PM

 
(cont. from below) and the United States was ranked 2nd to last for children's well being. Divorce rates and child custody physical placements were cited as reasons why the U.S. ranked so low. Being "shuttled" is a reality for the children whose parents decide to divorce. Having both fit and willing parents EQUALLY love, guide, educate and nurture after a divorce (even with "shuttling")is LESS disruptive to a child than the loss of time with one of the fit and willing parents. Your ex-husband is apparently ok with having so few overnights and this I am sure helps with your situation. However, many non-custodial parents were equal parents before the divorce and then are forced to see their children only 4-6 days a month. This is damaging to children, the parent, and one-half of the child's family tree. Your personal case seems to be perfect and this is quite rare and has a lot to do with the parents getting along and accepting the custody arrangement. Mom and Dad have ver

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Posted on 10/17/2007 at 5:10:00 PM

 
Kelly, Your case works wonderful for you, your children and your ex-husband and that is wonderful. However the majority of research whether from AMA, APA, Children's Rights Council, etc. all show that the loss of time with one parent which is typical in most divorce/child custody cases is very harmful to children. Who tucks them in at night is also very important and children benefit from both parents playing this role. The latest research from Richard Warshak also includes studies on overnights. Dr. Marc Ackerman, who is considered to be the authority on child custody evaluations, strongly supports joint physical custody as long as there is no disruption to the child or children's school schedule. A review of over 33 different studies conducted by the APA shows that children, in general, are better adjusted long-term in joint physical custody environments and it was shown to reduce long-term tension between parents. UNICEF recently ranked the top 21 wealthiest nations an

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Posted on 10/17/2007 at 5:10:00 PM

 
Angela - I may have been unclear. Their dad and I felt the kids would do best in one home, which he often visited. He also often helps out at school, at games, church events, etc. - with me - so he does spend a great deal of time with them. Many of their friends shuttle from parent to parent and the hostility between estranged parents remains high, and those kids are now acting out teenagers and young adults. There is a great deal of AMA literature to support co-parenting after divorce, not splitting the time. Individual family dynamics either can or can't support co-parenting, but it benefits children greatly.

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Posted on 10/17/2007 at 2:10:00 PM

 
Kelly, perhaps in your case however the majority of all the research proves quite the opposite of what you state. Many fathers want to be much more involved than what your ex-husband is from the standpoint of one on one time with the children. I am happy that your children have a great releationship with him because that is important. The APA states joint physical custody is best for children as long as the parents are within the same school district. The top child custody evaluator in the country states that joint physical custody is best. Dr. Richard Warshak has done the most extensive research on adult children of divorce and the number one thing they wish for is more time with the other parent which they were denied the right to be equally loved, guided, nurtured and educated by. The research and facts are quite different from your personal experience.

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Posted on 10/17/2007 at 2:10:00 PM

 
Every family is different. Equal "legal" rights should be the norm, but equal custody time is most often not beneficial to children, who often want one stable home. My ex husband has set times to have our children with him - one weekend a month and parts of holidays and summer - when they were younger it was more frequent. But he also co-parents with me in their everyday lives aside from 'set times'. He has a marvelous relationship with his children, 24/7, whether he is with them physically or not, and they haven't been yoyos going back and forth for 10 years..

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Posted on 10/17/2007 at 2:10:00 PM

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