Military Wife Tips: Keeping Any Long Distance Relationship Alive

From a Military Wife Who Knows

I have read the same old tips and tricks for long distance relationships on numerous web sites. Usually they are no-brainers, or they are so unrealistic they lack a practical explanation of how do you use it? My goal here is to give some tried and true techniques to making the distance shrink, and use my own life and experiences as practical examples.

My husband is a submariner in the United States Navy, and together we have completed 2 deployments plus countless weeks of workups, exercises, and short-term separations. If you also include the long hours he works while he is port, usually leaving the home before the sun rises and returning long after it has set, we have spent far more time apart than physically together. I am well versed in his absence at holiday gatherings. In 4 years, he has been absent 4 Halloweens, 3 Easters, 2 entire summers, 2 Thanksgivings, and 1 Christmas. He has already missed 75% of our anniversaries, and I have only celebrated his birthday with him on time once. Thankfully he has never missed my birthday, but that required me to fly to Japan this year just to keep that one holiday free from his absences!

I grew up a Navy dependent, so I didn't naively marry into the Navy family. I knew the hard work and dedication it takes to make a military marriage work. I watched my parents constantly toil at keeping their relationship alive and our family close from infancy until I was 18 years old. None of the pain and loneliness is ever alleviated by the money you receive or the fact that military families fill a revered patriotic role in their many sacrifices.

Despite all of this, I wouldn't trade my marriage or life for anything. Our relationship is not easy. But, my husband and I have some tried and tested techniques we use to keep our relationship alive.