Bad Movie Review 4 - Night of Horror

"Equivalent To Chinese Water Torture"

There are some moments in your life that you cannot forget: Your first concert; your senior prom; losing your virginity; the surprise party your mother threw for you on your 14th birthday. Night Of Horror is equally as memorable, but in a different way. The film is like a pungent fart that lingers for a very long time. One whose foul odor cannot be escaped.

This movie starts out with a couple of guys sitting in someone's basement (which is not-so-cleverly disguised as a neighborhood bar) with their backs to the camera, saying something about a band. At least I think it was. You see, the sound quality was so bad, it sounded like the microphone was in Borneo while they shot this. All I could make out were some murmers and mumbles and something that sounded like "band". By this time, I started to understand why their backs were to us. Had I been even remotely involved with this film, I would not want to be seen either. Anyway, this leads to our story (and I use this word very loosely).

Four people decide to get in a camper and drive to Virginia. 'Lo, the film spares us NOT ONE iota or detail of the drive. We get to see 12 whole minutes of the camper, I-95, the camper, a bridge, the camper, a garbage barge in the water, the camper, the bridge again, the camper, a bird, the camper, etc. ad nauseum. And that's not all! While this excruciating driving scene unfolds, we are subjected to some of the worst piano music my poor ears have ever had the discomfort of hearing. I kept waiting for Charlie Brown and Snoopy to come out dancing.