Mom's Birthday

MATTHEW
Help me light the candles.

MOM
You boys...I don't need candles.

ALBIE
That's what I said...

MATTHEW
...It's your 50th...it should be special.

MOM
It's too much, but thank you darling...

ALBIE
...Suck up...

MOM
...That's why you've always been my favorite, Matty...

ALBIE
...let's get on with it...

MATTHEW
(Singing) Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear mama....

ALBIE
...just blow out the candles ma...

MATTHEW
...Happy Birthday to you! What'd you wish for?

MOM
Aw, you know better than that-

ALBIE
Here...open 'em...

MATTHEW
...Be nice, she's your mama...

MOM
...You boys...OH...would ya look at this?
(Pulls out a gun, a bottle of pills, a rope, a bag, some duct tape, etc.)

MATTHEW
We couldn't decide on which way to do it...we thought about putting rat poison in the cake...

MOM
...Well, that would've been fine...this does make it more fun for me...

ALBIE
FUN?!? Mama, we're gonna--

MATTHEW
--It's the 50th birthday...it's always done on the 50th. Mama, you ready...you decide on which way?

MOM
I think I'll take...the gun. To the head I think. It's supposed to be quick that way.

MATTHEW
Excellent choice. Albie. Lay out the garbage bags.

ALBIE
Mama, you sure? There's less messy-

MATTHEW
--TIGHTEN UP...

MOM
...Do as your brother says...

MATTHEW
...Get out of the way. I swear to god. I'll shoot you if I have to...

ALBIE
...I can't let...you can't kill--

MOM
--Sweet heart, this is what I want, now get out of your brother's way...good boy.

MATTHEW
Ok, now, you ready mama?
(Holds the gun up to MOM's head

...I love you
(Lights go out. Gunshot is heard.)