What the Hell is Hell?

Recently, I was blessed by a visit with two wonderful ladies. They knocked on my door and asked if I could spare a little bit of time to talk to them. Judging by the stack of pamphlets in one of their hands, I assumed that these were not your typical Avon Ladies. I invited them in and we all sat down around my table. They seemed to be more than a little bit nervous. I chalked that up to the fact that there was a giant dragon painted on the wall behind them, or perhaps the large stained glass pentagram hanging in the window. Or, maybe it was the full size statue of Buddha sitting in front of an altar, on which resided a whole lot of graven type images. It may have simply been the fifteen cats who wandered in to find a lap to sit on and join in the conversation. Who could know?

We discussed a plethora of topics. We spoke about the weather, the state of the world, along with the end of the world, and finally we got around to the subject of what my belief system. I gave them the Reader's Digest condensed version. After carefully searching for the proper words, one of these kind and compassionate souls reached over and gently took my hand. Quite sincerely she informed me that she and her friend were here to prevent my soul from going to hell.

Hell... hmmmm.. "What and where is hell?" I asked them.

"It's a horrible place," one of them told me, "With lakes of fire and tormented souls." "Satan is there keeping watch over the suffering and sorrow." "And," the other lady informed me in a hushed tone, "There will be a horrible gnashing of teeth."

"A gnashing of teeth," I pondered, "Whose teeth?"

Both ladies sat in pensive silence for a moment, and then one answered... "Everyone's teeth."

"Do you still have teeth even if you don't have a body?" I questioned. "What if you have false teeth, or you don't have any teeth at all? "How does one gnash one's teeth anyhow," I wondered, opening my mouth and clicking my teeth loudly together, as my cats stared at me in feline fascination, "Like this?"

The ladies looked at each other and then at the cats as if seeking an answer. The cats yawned and stretched but didn't provide an answer as to the proper method of teeth gnashing.