MBT Footwear: Designed for Walking on an Earth that is Not Flat

MBT footwear is—how shall I put this delicately—some of the butt ugliest shoes ever made. I mean I’m talking Medusa-level ugly. As ugly as a confrontation between Ann Coulter and facts. I mean, MBT sneakers are not attractive shoewear. Picture those shoes that Cosmo Kramer was wearing on the episode of Seinfeld when he was mistakenly identified as a candidate for the Special Olympics. So why are they so hot, then?

The advertising campaign behind MBT footwear promotes them as “the world’s smallest gym.” Obviously, they’ve never seen my exercise cubicle. What do the makers mean by that slogan, though, and what makes these shoes so different from anything else on the market? The primary aspect that differentiates these shoes—aside from their refreshing nonchalance toward trendy fashion—is that their design is manifested by a reflection of the world in which we walk, rather than vice versa. Most shoes are not designed with reality in mind; just think “high heels.”

The Earth, in case you hadn’t gotten the memo, is not flat. Although certain elements of society cling stubbornly to concepts such as the world being flat, or supply-side economics being something that works, in fact neither of those things are true. The world is an uneven place and I’m not just talking about the quality of Martin Scorsese movies. New York sidewalks aside, most of us tend to walk at some point in our lives over various textures, up and down hills and valleys, and through and across other impediments to smooth locomotion. The developers of the MBT footwear have attempted create a shoe that serves to lessen stress on those parts of the body used in the process of walking, while also helping one to develop better coordination.