My Life: A Story of Secret Defiance

He always had the cutest smile and every time I saw him it made me weak at the knees. This guy was not like any other guy I had ever met, this one was different and I knew that one day we would be together, I knew this from the first time we met, and I wanted to make him mine. I was lucky because this guy was related to my best friend; that meant he would come to talk to her and sometimes if I was lucky, he would speak to me. Seeing him would always make me smile.

I grew up pretty normal, in an average home with an average family, although my parents (especially my mother) were very strict on me. "Don't do this! Don't wear that!" She would always say. I wasn't allowed to go anywhere with my friends and I didn't have many cousins my age. If we went anywhere, it had to be as a family. I was 3^rd of six children. That's right the middle child, what a burden. I had two older sisters, two younger sisters and an even younger brother who was spoilt rotten. I was a normal child, with good grades, large personality and a good heart.

Growing up as Lebanese Muslim girl meant things were a lot stricter on us girls then it was for the Non- Muslim girls at my school. I was always jealous of their clothes, their families and their boyfriends. It wasn't fair, they always seemed to go out with friends and I was never allowed. I only went to one birthday party when I was in primary school (because my friend's dad was a teacher at our primary school), but I didn't even get to sleep over and have McDonalds the next morning. I was so disappointed. I remember being disappointed a lot growing up and being so young it was hard to understand.

I remember seeing my older sisters fighting with my mother all the time because she would always be so tough on them; the oldest was not even allowed to have her girlfriends call her at home. I think the reason my mum was like this was because she was brought up taking care of 7 brother and sisters because she was the oldest in her family. She was also forced to drop out of school in grade 2 (in Lebanon) to help her mother raise her siblings. This was deemed absolutely normal and a girls responsibility. I didn't agree.