A Cutter Offers Insights into Self-Injury

Self-injury, self-harm, self-mutilation, cutting...whatever you want to call it, it is usually a misunderstood symptom of a larger problem. Wikipedia describes self-injury as a deliberate injury that a person inflicts upon their own body without suicidal intent.

People who self-injure tend to suffer from certain psychological problems. It is a symptom of borderline personality disorder and can be found in those who have a history of abuse or trauma, eating disorders and there is correlation between self-injury and emotional abuse.

Though not all people who suffer from these psychiatric disorders or mental traits are self-injurers, a great deal of them are. If you know someone who self-injures, there is probably a deeper issue involved.

Self injury can take different forms and have varying degrees of severity. Self-injury takes the form of punching, hitting, burning with cigarettes, self-poisoning, cutting and other self-injurous behaviours.

I believe cutting to be among the most prevelant form. I have personal knowledge about several cutters, as well as myself. Yes, I am a cutter, too. Who better to speak about the mysterious nature of the self-harm phenomenon?

It is almost impossible to explain to a non-cutter why a cutter does what they do. My personal experience has been that I reach a level of such psychic "pain" that it becomes unbearable and cutting is a release from that pain.

It seems contradictory to say that the cutting relieves my pain, but it is not a physical pain we are talking about. And the act itself, in the state of psychic pain that I describe, I don't feel the physical pain of cutting the same as I would another injury or even a cut under different circumstances.

Often I am "numb" and experience a kind of localized amnesia about events that led to the episode as well as the episode itself.