Actors Petition for Scientology Reading Rooms in Air Terminals

Disclaimer: This is satire run unbridled and sarcasm at free rein. No one in their right mind should believe a word of this. However, I imagine there may be exceptions.

Hollywood, California. Inspired to action by national events rippling through the Constitutional Advocate pool of advocates demanding separation of Church and State and their opposition advocating, well, the opposite, specifically all faith chapels in national and international air terminals, celebrity actor Tom Cruise and fading celebrity actor John Travolta have joined forces in a petition advocating Scientology Reading Rooms as well. Followers of the late L. Ron Hubbard's Scientology belief, Cruise and Travolta stressed that Scientology deserves the same respect and recognition given other religious beliefs based upon best selling books of the month.

Both agreed to the following interview for this article:

Me: John, what benefit do you see in having Scientology Reading Rooms in U.S. air terminals?
John: Dianetics. I firmly believe that we all need to remove those negative thoughts of our reactive minds which hold us back in our film careers. I blame myself and my reactive mind for my slip in popularity and less than notable roles in some recent films which can be traced back to other reactive minds. We all have them.

Me: But not everyone is an actor nor has a film career-
John: But you should! It pays very handsomely, thank Ron, and sometimes you don't even have to act!

Me: Uh, yes. Tom, what-
Tom: Dianetics! Absolutely! Every morning! I wake up and I smile, thinking of how Dianetics has made me reborn. I keep smiling all day long!

Me: What I was going to ask is what benefit do you see from Scientology Reading Rooms in U.S. air terminals?
Tom: Well, it would be a nice place for Kat and me and little Suri to relax in when we stop between flights around the world. It really feels good to stop and catch a few pages of DUNE and-