Victorian Era Grief Rituals and Mourning Traditions

A death during Victorian times required long periods of mourning traditions, and was accompanied by many grief rituals. The longest mourning period was for the death of a spouse, and usually lasted a minimum of 2 years. But just grieving wasn't enough; a person was required to dress for the occasion. There were even stages of mourning, requiring different apparel. Full Mourning lasted a year and one day, and women were expected to wear black crepe or dull materials that had no sheen or shine. Crepe was a very hazardous material, and constant breathing through the fabric caused many respiratory problems. Black was the preferred color because it symbolized the absence of light and life. (Even the petticoats had to have a black ribbon sewn on the hem, in case they should be seen.) Special mourning lace handkerchiefs had black borders. For the head, there were special bonnets, caps and veils for grieving women. These veils, most often made of heavy black crepe, sometimes caused blindness, because they were in close contact with the eyes, for long periods of time. During crying fits, the large cuffs on the dresses would be used to wipe the nose, and they were referred to as "weepers."

For one entire year, a woman could not leave her house without Full Mourning attire and a weeping veil. She could attend church services, but was never to be seen at places of amusement or entertainment. Even the houses were fully draped in black crepe banners to signify that there had been a death.

Some elderly widows remained in mourning for the rest of their lives. Queen Victoria had made mourning a fashionable tradition. Her husband, Prince Albert, died of typhoid in 1861. She dressed her entire court in mourning attire, and remained in Full Mourning clothes for 3 years.

Many children never saw their mothers in any color except black, for their entire life, because of so many deaths in the family.

Second Mourning was the next phase, and it lasted for nine months. Dresses were still made from drab material, but some fabric trim was allowed, as well as mourning jewelry. The veil could be lifted, and worn back over the head.