How to Know Your Boyfriend is Abusive

When a woman first meets a man she doesn't know his upbringing, the company he keeps, what he likes to do in his spare time and most of all whether he has a disease or not. She can only make a determination of the man's character initially by how he looks, his mannerisms, what he says and how he treats her and the people around them. As she becomes increasingly more interested in him, she begins to trust him and will gradually let her "guard down". She will buy him gifts, offer to help him with cooking and housework, impress his family and friends and take part in his interests. While she is growing a fondness for him, he may be ready to have a relationship with her, but struggle with a dark past in the process.

What is in this man's dark past that the woman is not aware? For some men, it is a pattern of abusive behaviors toward women. It may have started when he witnessed his mother being beat by his dad, a live-in boyfriend or someone else. There may have been a time that a woman sexually abused him. Other instances of abuse could have occurred to him by a controlling mother or some other female authority. Whoever or whatever the situation, the man is aware that he exhibits inappropriate behavior with women, but no matter how hard he tries he can't seem to stop. This man may have prayed, visited the local church, talked with friends, read books, saw a counselor, took drugs, etc. but for whatever reason he just can't seem to break the cycle. This unsuspecting new mate doesn't know what she is about to experience with this man unless she recognizes the signs early and gets out permanently.