Applying the Second Noble Truth

Thoughts on Attachment and Suffering

The second of Buddhism's Four Noble Truths is that attachment causes suffering. We are attached to a thing, an idea, a person and any threat to that (or our ability to have/be with it) causes us suffering. Then if/when we lose it, we suffer even more.

While this makes a great deal of sense, a lot of us feel threatened by being told that we have to give up attachment to end suffering. I mentally understand how this could work, even in the case of attachment to my husband and my family. Yet that seems like too much for now.

But this is a valuable insight nonetheless. Should we discard it just because we don't want to go all the way with it?

In reflecting on my own life, I've found a few places where nonattachment helps me escape some rather useless suffering. Here are two examples. Perhaps you can relate to them. If not, consider some places in your life where this might apply.

First, I have (almost) stopped being attached to getting to work on time. I think it's best that I get to work on time or even early every day. But if I fixate on it, then it causes me a lot of frustration.

What if, for example, I do everything right to get to the metro, but the metro is very slow and I'm late? I could sit there, feeling angry because the metro is going so slowly. But that will not change the metro's speed. Nor will it set me up for a good day.

If I come into work with that frustration still seething, I'll make an even worse impression on people than I would if I showed up late but cheerful. If someone asks, I can blame the metro. I could even ask "Whew, did anyone else take the metro today?"

I helped myself get there in a few ways. I asked myself whether anyone cares if I'm late. I think they do care after a certain point, but if it's just a few minutes that's fine. Plus I pointed out to myself that I'm often early, so I have a good track record.

I also realized (over time, as I rode on the metro again and again) that I can't be responsible for something over which I have no control. I have a responsibility to allow for a certain delay in my travel time, but I can't prejudge everything.