Wild Turkeys Stalk Citizens in Suburbia

Turkeys Gone Wild

This is the time of year when most Americans gather around a table full of delicious foods, and celebrate the goodness of the Lord. But one who is not celebrating is the turkey! Wild turkeys are protesting in Brookline, Massachusetts. One poor woman, on the way to her optician, was stalked by a turkey, who pecked at her bottom all the way through the suburban streets, over the train tracks, and through heavy traffic. Another woman requested that Animal Control help her, after finding 18 turkeys in her backyard. Later, a man called for assistance because 4 turkeys were chasing him. A doctor was forced to take refuge in a Dunkin Donuts shop, in order to flee a 3 foot turkey that was aggressively pursuing her. It appears to be a case of turkeys gone wild!

All across America, turkeys are apparently taking a liking to suburbia.Turkeys are known to be aggressive, and will often chase anything that moves, including pets, people, bicycles, and automobiles. Wild turkeys can grow to a height of 4 feet tall, and run at the Marathon speed of 20 mph. They have been known to chase postal workers, children, and joggers. Turkeys are definitely waging war, by placing humans in a "pecking order" below themselves, according to turkey wildlife expert, Jim Cardoza, of Massachusetts. And according to the senior vice president of the National Wild Turkey Federation, James Earl Kennamer, "...they'll fight you to show who's dominant.

If you turn your back, they'll take it to mean they're dominant." (Let me rephrase the warning for those of you with comprehension problems.) Never turn your back on a wild turkey! A jogger in Massachusetts passed a farm, and 30 turkeys went running after her. She described it as being "like that scene in The Birds..." Finally a friend in a pickup truck rescued her, while "laughing so hard she almost choked on her Dunkin' Donut." (Apparently a lot of people in Massachusetts like Dunkin' Donuts.)