Bad Movie Review 12 - Rock N' Roll Nightmare

"Demons By Jim Henson." Oh. My. God. I swear, I think Writer/Director Jon-Mikl Thor owns stock in Depends, as anyone watching this is in danger of wetting themself.

This one just misses the coveted five cheeses. The only reason is that it was made entirely in Canada, and we all know how I despise the Great White North, eh?

I dare anyone... and I mean ANYONE, to watch this film's last 15 minutes without cracking up. It can't be done, I tells ya!

Let's see... Where do I begin? Ah, yes. A farmhouse family is murdered by a puppet that springs from the oven(!). Why would it come from a kitchen appliance, rather than the gateway to hell, you may ask? Simple. Because then you'd see the puppeteers, much like why Kermit The Frog was always behind a counter that came up to the kid's waist. We are then introduced to the band, Triton, fronted by none other than Jon-Mikl Thor, himself! With him is the drummer (who I think is supposed to have an Australian accent, but winds up sounding more like Al Pacino in that Revolutionary War movie he did a while back), a bassist named Roger Eburt(!), one keyboardist chick whose body makes up for her Sandra Bernhardt-resembling face, their goofy manager, Phil, and some other forgettable demon-fodder.

They drive around in a van that would make Disco Stu, of The Simpsons, proud. Boy, do they drive around. The driving scene almost rivals that of Night Of Horror and the remake, Curse of the Cannibal Confederates. They finally get to their destination: the seedy-looking farmhouse where the opening family were killed, which is complete with a barn, yet has no phone. When they all complain about the place, Phil reassures them that Alice Cooper recorded his last album there. Hmmm, I don't know about any of you, but I don't recall any of Cooper's records ever stating they were filmed in "A shitty, run-down, Canadian barn with no phone".

We are next treated to Thor's band playing what has to be some of the hokiest '80s rock I've ever heard (not counting Stryper). We are now introduced to the demonic inhabitants of the place, and I swear to you, it's a RUBBER FINGER PUPPET, SMOKING A CIGARETTE!