The Most Awkward Feeling

Picture this. You are at a gathering (BBQ, class reunion, dinner with friends) and the men are on one side of the room, probably watching a football game, and the women are sitting around a table enjoying some coffee. The conversation with the women centers mostly around kids and bra sizes, work, living expenses, giving birth and the like. Nothing too personal, nothing to make women feel uncomfortable. It's something that whether married, childless, with child or whatever, you're going to have some sort of say in it.

But then the subject changes. You are the one woman in the group that met your husband in high school, he's been the only man you've dated ever, the only man you've had intercourse with and he's the father of all your children. But among you sits these other women who have been married and divorced at least once, possibly more than once.

What is going through your mind as you sit there listening to them talk about their ex-husbands and what they did to them and why they put up with them so long and how many children they had with them, how many children they had with the other, how they are making do with custody battles and more? These are experiences that you have no knowledge of and hopefully never will.

Are you thinking about how lucky you are? Are you thinking should you say something or just sit here quietly sipping your coffee and hope that no one notices you aren't participating? Should you discretely get up from the table to pour yourself another cup and bring the pot to the table to refill other cups?

If you were me, you probably weren't thinking any of those things. I was in this situation and all I did was sit there, looking from one person to another, listening to their story and how the other ladies had an opinion on their situation. No thoughts were going through my head, no actions were made other than a sip of drink now and then.