A Definitive Guide to Picking Up After Your Dog

Eeewwww! There it lies. A big, stinky, dog poop right in the middle of the sidewalk. Even my own dog shies away and seems dismayed that anyone would leave such a "present" where anyone could step on it. By all rights, I too should simply walk away. But, I walk my dog in this area several times a day. I can see that the nearest car in the parking lot belongs to someone who works in my own company. If I just walk away, I know that my dog and I will have to endure the sneers of angry neighbors. We will bear the blame for someone else's lack of consideration. I must act. Today, I choose to scoop the poop of someone else's dog. Fortunately, as a long-time dog owner, I am well-versed in the art of picking up after my dog. Here and now, I will share the nuances of poop scooping so that less considerate dog owners may change their ways.

First, you must overcome your aversion to picking up your dog's fecal matter. We all perform the same function ourselves. Babies soil diapers. Cats soil their litter boxes. Dogs sometimes relieve themselves in the worst places. But, it's only poop. With proper equipment and proper training, your skin will never actually touch it. It isn't overly dangerous. It isn't collected by terrorist groups for use in bio-weapons. It isn't radioactive. You can do it!