How to Survive Halloween - Handy Safety Tips to Provide a Great Helpfulness!
It is Halloween time again, and as usual the kids will go door-to-door to exchange threats against personal property for small bits of chocolate. But, uh oh, that sweet treat is full of poison and razor blades! Darn! I hate when that happens!
The above was a true story, and I died while typing it. Luckily it's that time of year when I can rise from the grave with little fuss-and-muss, and so I am able to continue writing this article of Extreme Helpfulness (upgraded from "great helpfulness" because of the life-and-death nature of it all) so that you can avoid my dreadful fate.
I don't want to waste a lot of time here, as all of my ancestors are beckoning me towards that bright light over there, so I'll just skip all the further ado and jump straight into my tips on how you can survive this deadly holiday.
First off, be careful when choosing a costume, as some are inherently safer than others. For example, if you are small boy and you dress as a pile of kindling and trick or treat in the middle of a campsite, there's the increased danger that someone will set you on fire. For best results, consult with your friends so that you can avoid conflicts - for example, one year my friend Tim dressed as a dragon, while I dressed as a knight. And what happened? I slew him with my knight sword! A terrible, bloody act of violence that could have been avoided with proper planning.
As a side note about costumes, "knight" is always a good choice, because not only do you always win fictional battles, but should a bully try to steal your candy, you're already battle-ready. Bonus!
Now that you've got your costume on, it's best to be choosy about who you choose to trick-or-treat from. This technique varies from neighborhood to neighborhood, so for best results ask other trick-or-treaters for suggestions. They can usually point out the houses giving out the full-size candy bars (go to those houses early, before they run out), and which houses are giving out plastic baggies full of oatmeal (go to these houses early as well, or all of the good egg-throwing spots will be taken).
The above was a true story, and I died while typing it. Luckily it's that time of year when I can rise from the grave with little fuss-and-muss, and so I am able to continue writing this article of Extreme Helpfulness (upgraded from "great helpfulness" because of the life-and-death nature of it all) so that you can avoid my dreadful fate.
I don't want to waste a lot of time here, as all of my ancestors are beckoning me towards that bright light over there, so I'll just skip all the further ado and jump straight into my tips on how you can survive this deadly holiday.
First off, be careful when choosing a costume, as some are inherently safer than others. For example, if you are small boy and you dress as a pile of kindling and trick or treat in the middle of a campsite, there's the increased danger that someone will set you on fire. For best results, consult with your friends so that you can avoid conflicts - for example, one year my friend Tim dressed as a dragon, while I dressed as a knight. And what happened? I slew him with my knight sword! A terrible, bloody act of violence that could have been avoided with proper planning.
As a side note about costumes, "knight" is always a good choice, because not only do you always win fictional battles, but should a bully try to steal your candy, you're already battle-ready. Bonus!
Now that you've got your costume on, it's best to be choosy about who you choose to trick-or-treat from. This technique varies from neighborhood to neighborhood, so for best results ask other trick-or-treaters for suggestions. They can usually point out the houses giving out the full-size candy bars (go to those houses early, before they run out), and which houses are giving out plastic baggies full of oatmeal (go to these houses early as well, or all of the good egg-throwing spots will be taken).
