Why Do Middle Aged Men Wear Black Socks and Shorts While Mowing the Yard?

Why do middle aged men wear black socks and shorts while mowing their yard? This question is one that has puzzled wives, sons, and daughters for decades. I often wonder as I approach middle age if I too, will be afflicted with this wonder of modern parenthood. Black socks and middle aged men go together like peas and carrots. I polled several middle aged men, and asked this question to each of them. These are some of the responses that I got. It is truly a window into the mind of the fashion challenged fathers in our society. Some are humorous, some are disgusting, but all are true.

1. "Because changing them after work is wasted time." This response was the most common. For whatever reason, changing their socks was too time consuming for our time challenged Fathers. It would be like taking time to lift the seat when going to the bathroom.

2 ."Because the white ones make their legs even more pale." Upon looking in the mirror at their downy white legs, they determined that black would be less contrasting than white. This incredible brain fart is quite troubling and might signal early on set of dementia. Maybe a canary yellow would look better?

3. "Because looking good no longer seems to be an issue." Many of the people polled simply had no concern with the fact that the black socks and shorts was a fashion faux paux. At least they revel in their comfort of self. These are the ones that are the funniest, as they will often pair the socks and shorts with a tank top of any color.

4. "Because they are warmer." This one puzzled me as warmth is never a concern to me when I mow the yard. Usually, preventing a heat stroke is a good thing.

5. "Because they can get ready for work quicker the next day." The implication of this one is disgusting, but obviously the Father's stinky socks can be traced back to the fact that they wore the same ones to mow the yard yesterday.

6. "Because the white ones would just look silly with their penny loafers." I have no idea how to get through to this one. It made perfect sense to him.