TIps for Adult Children of Alcoholics

An Adult Child of an Alcoholic Shares Her Knowledge with Other Adult Children of Alcoholics

When I lived with my father, there were alot of things that I couldn't do, because he told me that I couldn't. I obeyed him mostly because of low self-esteem and fear. The primary reason why he told me that I couldn't do these things was mostly due to the fact that my father was an extremely abusive alcoholic who made my childhood, teenage years and my adult life between the ages of 20-31 years of age, a living hell. I am 36 years old now and haven't seen my father in over five years. These have been the happiest five years of my life.

While growing up, I had come to hate many things about my father but one of the things that I hated the most about him was his constant use of the word, "don't". He used that word so many times in my youth, that I had no tolerance for the word. But lately, I have come to realize that the word, "don't" doesn't have to be a negative word that it can actually be a powerful and positive educational tool.

As an adult child of an alcoholic, I feel that it is my responsibility to share some of my knowledge with other adult children of alcoholics that I think would be beneficial to them. Below are some "don'ts" that they might want to consider.

1. DON'T be afraid to cut off all contact with your alcoholic parent. I absolutely had to! There was no other choice for me. I just got so sick of living in fear and the constant lying that I was always doing, just so that I could appear like I came from a normal loving family. It was just too much for me. I got the hell out.

2. DON'T be afraid of intimacy. I know from experience that children of alcoholics can be very secretive when it comes to their personal lives, more so than a child who grew up with a non-alcoholic parent. Unfortunately, because of this secretiveness, it makes it harder to open up to people. And if you can't open yourself up to a person, you can never really build lasting and loving relationships. Do yourself a favor and open up your heart, mind and soul to others even though there is a chance that you may get hurt. But, always remember the old saying, "No Pain, No Gain."