Life in a Classroom

Appearing in all sizes, shapes, colors, and even odors, they invade and inhabit rooms every day throughout the country. They snicker, snort, sniff, giggle, guffaw, gripe, and sometimes even learn. Ah, yes, they are students! They pave the steps for tomorrow's society, while weaving and leaving their legacy long after the rest of us retire into reminiscence. Having invested decades of my existence in the same academic abode of these young hearts and minds, I have observed and catalogued a cornucopia of characters, making each of my days with them challenging, frustrating, exciting, and, yes, fully rewarding. Were I ever to immortalize these adolescent charges into a book, it would be quite a colorful catalogue, and it might go something like this.

Mandy Motion. What school day would be complete with the one who climbs the walls (or makes me want to climb one!), sniffs the markers, and frequents the bathroom, and that is all before roll is taken. Little Miss Motion enters the class in a perpetual dervish around other students, as well as the teacher's desk. If it is the latest juicy gossip, it will be on her tongue; if it is loose on any desk, it will be in her hand. This wandering whirlwind will eventually settle somewhere, at least for a nanosecond or two, but her stationary status cannot last long with all the commotion generated by her locomotion.

Wayne Whiner. "Oooooh, are we doing that, agaiiiin?!" intones the voice of this bundle of bliss each morning. Yes, anything coming his way in the form of an assignment, activity, or mere suggestion is met by a forlorn sigh from this one. This laptop of lethargy tends to dread anything that smacks of learning and certainly resists any function that might make him actually have to listen, stand, or, worst of all, move around the room. Even the class-ending bell cannot excite this apoplexy of apathy as he grunts and groans, grabs his belongings, and trudges off to his second period gym class. Good luck to the PE teacher who has to work with this mass of moaning mediocrity.