You May Not Be Able to Change a Man, but You Can Change Seven Dwarfs

Snow White really isn't one of my favorite Disney stories. Its true. I think the only real reason I've seen it is because its considered a classic and I used to play that "Whistle Why You Work" song on the piano as a child. However, the tale proves as for many, a favorite childhood tale. As my friend Vicki recently sat me down to watch it (reluctantly), I noticed a few things. Wow, Walt, you really aimed to change the world... in fairy tale form. Here's a few life lessons I picked up from watching this classic from the Disney vault.

1) Grumpy the misogynistic Dwarf
If Ernest Hemingway were a dwarf, he'd be Grumpy. Grumpy hates women. Why does any man hate a woman? Probably because she tries to change him. Which leads me to my next point...

2) You may not be able to change a man, but you can change seven dwarfs
She makes it look so easy! What woman has ever been able to walk into a man's house, clean it up, wash their dishes, and make them take a shower? No one, I tell you. Men don't change and old dogs don't learn new tricks. Its a fact of life. However, somehow she manages to improve on these seven dwarfs and their nasty habits. I bet she could even get them to empty the dishwasher. The only sense I can make of this is that it is better to date a midget.

3) Don't take candy from strangers
Or poisoned apples for that matter. Seriously, if an evil queen is out to get you, its probably not a good idea to allow a strange ugly women into your cottage. Especially when a bunch of animals talented at tidying up said cottage try to warn you by attacking her (Who's Dopey now???). Animals have a sixth sense. If my dog freaks out, no one is there, I immediately draw the conclusion that it must be a ghost and freak out. Fido's never wrong with these sorts of things. Neither is Bambi.