Evil Toys that like to Hurt Children

It's Christmas morning, and there's a big pile beneath the holiday pine.  A pile of what?  A pile of suffering.  You see, there are certain toys that can not only squeek and rattle - they can maim!  Leave it up to the consumer safety group W.A.T.C.H. ( World Against Toys Causing Harm ) to put big red danger flags on the following toddler hobblers:

CHOKERS

The toy industry is supposed to safety-test products geared to children under five with a "choke tube," a cylinder with the approximate diameter of Little Tommy's trachea.  If small, potentially inhalable objects fit into the tube, they're off limits to ankle biters.  Buttons on dolls have been an age-old menace, as well as tasty Lego blocks.  One child actually died from eating Magnetix - the tiny, interlocking magnets formed a tight cluster and perforated his lower intestine!  Is the concept of creative play and spatial reasoning really worth this kind of tragic outcome?  There have also been several Curious George products with the ability to asphixiate: children have the choice between swallowing George's plush cell phone or garroting themselves with his red balloons ( which look suspiciously like testes with George himself in the prostate position ).  Also, judging from the amount of recalls, anything with Tweety on it ( key rings, sandals, and rattles ) is going straight down the hatch. and then there's Kinder Surprise Eggs - we all know what the surprise is: your child turning blue!

IMPALERS