Am I Dead?: A Poem

Can you tell me
Am I Dead?
The screaming and yelling
Is stuck in my head

I feel so cold
It doesn't seem right
I can sense the anger
Within me tonight

My bitterness is growing
Though I can't explain why
I feel no emotion
Tell me, Am I Alive?

The Void is getting bigger
I fall in deeper still
The Emptiness, and loneliness
Is all that I can feel

The chaos within my mind
Is truly running wild
Tell me, Am I dead?
I feel like a lost child

The yelling and the screaming
Is just to much for me
It has done something to my mind
No one can understand me

I have never felt so cold
And I have never quit
But I must say my faith is gone
So in the shadows I now sit

No one said life was easy
But no one said it was this hard
I have built a wall around my heart
I won't let down my guard

Tell me, Am I dead?
I can't be alive
I've never felt such emptiness
I used my dreams to survive

But From every dream
There is a true awakening
And Now that I'm awake
My whole life is breaking

For years I have tried
To forget the pain and sorrow
But the things that I'm now feeling
Can't be hid until tomorrow

Too many changes
The past few years
And through all the suffering
I hid my tears

But now the truth comes out
The hatred changed my ways
And when my father hit me
I swear I went insane

True it was only one time
Twice across the face
But now I feel nothing
I have no love to embrace

As for my mother
She might seem okay
But I have really seen her
In her true dismay

So my life isn't perfect
It doesn't bother me
I know I deserve better
But it's not a possibility

My Body is among the living
But my soul and heart are dead
Though everyone keeps telling me
It's all in my head

So...
Can you tell me,
Am I Dead?
The Screaming and Yelling
Is stuck in my head