Ridiculous Excuses for Not Exercising

Is There Any Legitimate Excuse for Not Exercising?

1. I absolutely cannot exercise because:
-I have an I.Q. of 175, and it wouldn't be fair to have brains and brawn
-I don't want to look like Lara Flynn Boyle
-I don't want to perpetuate a Hollywood stereotype that young girls have to live up to
-I want to look like a "real" man

2. I don't have to exercise because:
-I'm already thin and if I exercise there won't be anything left of me
-I have superior metabolism
-I only chew one tin of tobacco per day
-I already have lots of energy 

3. My idea of "Warming Up" before a workout is to:
-Go lie under an electric blanket for 15 minutes
-Go sit in front of a fireplace with a good book for 15 minutes
-Go down to the local bar and order a "Boilermaker" and nurse it for 15 minutes
-Go into the kitchen and make a cup of hot chocolate topped off with marshmallows and 15 different kinds of cookies

4. My favorite weight-loss reality tv show is:
-The Biggest Loser
-Celebrity Fit Club
-Survivor
-The Simple Life starring Paris Hilton & Nicole Ritchie

5. I exercise everyday by:
-Walking 12 feet to my mailbox to retrieve the mail
-Skipping 3 blocks down to the local Dunkin' Donuts
-Jumping up 2 times to use the bathroom during the commercial breaks on the six-o'clock news
-Twirling round and round in my swivel chair for 30 seconds

6. Organic Foods:
-Are made from the organs of humans and animals
-Make a person poop every 3 hours
-Are only eaten by people who have squirrels as pets
-Taste bland and are indigestible

7. The best fashion/exercise moment in history is:
-Richard Simmons sweatin' to the oldies in Daisy-Duke short-shorts
-Jennifer Beals dancing like she's never danced before in a torn sweatshirt in the movie, Flashdance
-Anna Nicole Smith prancing around in spandex shorts three sizes too small on her reality TV show, The Anna Nicole Show
-Olivia Newton-John sauntering around in the "Physical" video wearing a headband, leotard & leg warmers

8. I can't afford to exercise because:
-the Air Jordan tennis shoes I need cost $150
-I have to pay for my kid's college education in 18 years, so I have to start saving up NOW
-I am a member of a one-income family
-Let's face it, Band-aids ain't cheap