Prevent Infidelity from Destroying Your Relationship

Most of us in long term marriages or relationships feel safe in trusting our partner one hundred percent. We busy ourselves with daily life and the activities that go along with living that life. Rarely do we allow thoughts of infidelity interfere with the safety and security we find in our relationship. That is why so many people are caught off guard and with little idea as how to handle it when it does intrude into our lives.

According to statistics, 65% of married men engage in infidelity by the time they reach the age of 40. Statistics show that 55% of married females will engage in infidelity be the time they reach the age of 40. What is even more important when we think about these figures is that it is unlikely that all the men and women having affairs are married to each other. If half of the women having affairs are married to men not included in that 65% having affairs then at least one partner will have an affair in approximately 80% of all marriages and long-term relationships.

With statistics like these doesn't it make sense that we might need to put thought into what we would do if we found ourselves dealing with infidelity in our relationship? Not arming ourselves with knowledge and the ability to handle such a problem should it come up is, in my opinion, the reason so many relationships do not survive infidelity. Sometimes it's not so much about a failed relationship but more about a bad response to a painful situation and a lack of tools to navigate the problem successfully.

I've learned in my work with couples that have gone through the crisis of infidelity that the most important aspect of navigating such a crisis is the ability to see the problem from the perspective of the other person. Affairs happen for one of two reasons. Some allow an outsider into their relationship because they have needs that are not being met in the relationship. Others allow an outsider into their relationship because they find the relationship has gone stale and they are looking for excitement elsewhere.