Changing Your Self-Talk

Your Feelings Are Framed by the Way You Think.

From the time we can assign words to the meaning of things, we humans begin to have an ongoing dialog in our head. In childhood that dialog begins by repeating what we hear from the adults in our life. The pattern of these words set a life long pattern of our self-talk. If the adults in our life have been critical, our self-talk will be critical, too. Self-talk is ongoing. The conversation rarely stops. We think because we don't do it out loud, that others don't know what we are thinking. However, our feelings and behaviors stem from these thought patterns. Most emotional and behavioral problems can be corrected by changing the self-talk.

Chemically dependent people use alcohol and drugs to self-medicate their feelings. Few of these individuals have ever been taught to manage their feelings by controlling their thought patterns and self-talk. Since these tapes began playing at a very early age, some feel that they are powerless to make different choices. It is important to be open-minded and allow others with healthier mind-sets to guide the change in the self-talk. When we are the products of our poor environment we must choose a new environment to sustain positive growth. (Turkeys don't fly with eagles.) Counseling and Sponsorship are helpful tools. But, in truth you are the only person who can choose your thoughts.

Thoughts precede feelings and behaviors. Feelings can be best handled by changing the conversations that take place in our heads. Feelings can stay around for years wreaking havoc in our lives, or we can change the tapes and the meaning we assigned to the words of our self-talk. Daily positive affirmation work is a good way to change the information on the three-minute loop that plays in your head.

Others cannot cause you to be happy, angry, sad or depressed. You are not a robot. You choose your responses depending on the self-talk taking place in your head.