10 Ways to Handle a Difficult Ex ? Focus on Borderline Personality Disorder

Couples in a new blended family struggle to create stability in their homes after coming from a dysfunctional life. The new family strives to achieve harmony by working out their differences. They try to weave lessons learned from the past relationship into the new household. One of the top triggers in their stress list is the difficult Ex.

Common complaints about the difficult Ex in a blended family are badmouthing, inability to stay cordial in each other's presence, intruding on new family's ways, standing ground on past agreements if circumstances change, uncooperative on new issues, disregard for children's best interest, alienating the other parent, resenting the new spouse, or feeling a need to get even.

For the average couple in a new blended family, these complaints are considered necessary adjustments. But, what if the difficult Ex-spouse calls the police every other week for perceived neglect of the children? What if the Ex-spouse files legal charges when she feels ignored?

What if she comes to the doorstep demanding her rights to see the children unannounced? What if she abandons the children for a number of years and insists that it is time to be a parent again? What if she has abused the children in the past in her care verbally, emotionally and physically? What if she has some mental health issues?

Dealing with this kind of difficult Ex is very discouraging and defeating. For the new spouse, it is very emotional exhausting to get along with someone whose version of reality is different from a typical parent. A worse scenario occurs if you are dealing with a mental illness called Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).

Do you want to know if your Ex-spouse is just being difficult or is your Ex-spouse exhibiting classic traits of Borderline Personality Disorder?

Try to reflect on the questions below to differentiate a difficult Ex-spouse from a Borderline.

Does your Ex keep your family on their toes?

Is the person always denying your perspective of truth?

Do they often point a finger at your parenting skills?

Is all your hard work for the children criticized?