The Real Secret to Using On-line Dating Services

An Expert in the Field Helps You Wade Through All of the Confusion to Find the Person of Your Dreams

It's Saturday night around 11:30 and I've been telling Carol about the time that I visited Nepal while on break from Harvard Medical School. I was telling Leslie how much I excel at skiing the steeps in the Chugach range and all about the condo that I'm renovating in Belize. And Sharon and I were engaged in a series of one-sided discussions about our favorite restaurants in Tuscany and how much we like to cook for large groups of friends. All from the comfort of my living room.

I haven't been on a date in over five years; ever since my wife left me for the Bowflex repairman. So, it's not hard to understand why I've grown comfortable with sidling up to women on Match.com, Great-Expectations.com, OverThirtySingles.com, True.com and Plentyof Fish.com, wallowing in the safety that only miles of distance can provide. But recently, I've started to grow suspicious of the women I've been meeting after reading their on-line profiles. They all seem to sound suspiciously the same.

So, after more than 45 minutes of exhaustive research, I came up with an approach for anyone hoping to find "Mr. or Ms. Right" over their wireless network.

The first thing you can do when touring on-line dating sites is throw out any precept of honesty; this is hardcore self -aggrandizement at its finest. Take everything you read, see or believe with a grain of salt. Make that a salt mine.

Next, avoid anyone who goes by the login names of "MountainGirl", "MrFit", "SexyBlonde", "WorldTraveler", "Love2Ski" or "Luv2HaveFun." These have been created by people who live in the slums, spend all day on the couch, dye their hair, never leave home and haven't laughed since the Nixon administration.