Weaving Fairy Tales

I am madly inlove. There, I admit it. I had been dealing about this situation for several months now, and I tell you, it had been a great self-struggle to admit this as a fact for myself to bear with. I've been drowning myself with coffee, insomnia and some good music from Joss Stone, Jason Mraz, Janis Joplin, Jann Arden, Norah Jones and Natalie Merchant. Music makes you realize that love is good. "So you're in love. It's so good for you. Live it up girl, because it never lasts for long. It's heaven for now, but not for long. It's going to hurt you. It's going to make you feel so bad. It's going to hurt you, truly do some harm." I was singing those lines from Natalie Merchant's "The Worst Thing" as I was lying in my bed feeling empty. Love is good. Well basically it is, but admit it, it hurts badly too. That is what I am afraid of. I just can't let myself indulge with this self-torture that I am actually suffering this very second that I am writing. I wanted to let it all go, but despite my decision to do so it always come back to me like an incurable disease that inflicts my thoughts with wonder and my heart with hopes.

Everyday of my life, I can't stop thinking of this person, hoping that I would see him, meet him or talk to him. It is totally crazy. It's just like an obsession, and it gives me creeps myself. I felt like a paranoiac, or a stalker maybe. I've never actually done the stalking but, there are times I wish I have the capability to do so. Sometimes I wish that I'm a free soul, or an elemental being sharing energies with the wind. I wanted to be invisible from everybody yet could be felt; just like how the wind makes us feel its refreshing comfort. I wanted to float adrift nothingness, and just be there for him. Insane as it is, this is my pure emotion.