The Cult of Nice is Harming American Society

“Nice” is overrated. Now sure, you can say I feel that way as a New Yorker, or as someone who thinks Professor Snape is actually the most charming character of the Harry Potter series, but nothing sets my teeth more on edge than someone declaring we should all just be “nice” or asking (I can only hope rhetorically) “Why we can’t all get along?” especially when it’s in response to discussion that may be uncomfortable, but is ultimately important. “Nice” is too often presented as a cure all in American society, when really the cult of nice serves to do little more than help us avoid solving problems that may not be pleasant, or, heavens forbid, require a little bit of conflict to iron out.

To be clear, my objection to nice, niceness and niceties is not a rejection of civil dialogue, manners or general politeness. These are the minimum standards of behavior to which I think everyone in American society (and around the world) should adhere all the time – not that we don’t also all fall short at least sometimes. The demand for nice in American society is a plague connected to a host of other societal ills ranging from the death of small talk as an art (it’s now apparently merely bored and irritated statements about the weather) to our utter hesitation to educate anyone about anything because “being nice” apparently demands that we assume everyone’s knowledge, training, innate skill and intellect are equal. They're not, and quite frankly pretending they are isn’t doing anyone any favors and isn’t, in fact, nice at all, as we will see below.