Human Torch Wax Figure a Miserable Failure

The following is a satirical news story. None of its content should be read or taken literally.

As a member of Marvel Comics Fantastic Four, The Human Torch is well-known for his fantastic feats of derring-do. As a wax figure however, the Human Torch is a miserable failure.

"I guess I should have kept him as Johnny Storm, and not attempted a 'Flame On' version," said noted wax figure sculptor Clyde Wellcop. "I guess I got carried away reading the comics, and thought I could somehow defy the rules of physics."

Wellcop, of Hamilton, Ohio, is locally well-known for his many wax creations, particularly cartoon and comic book characters. In addition to Marvel characters like Spiderman and the Fantastic Four, his basement is cluttered with waxy renditions of Fred Flintstone, Speed Racer, Dudley Do-Right and even a lifesize "Urkel" from the popular 1990's sitcom, "Family Matters."

"Wax is the ultimate artistic tool," Wellcop explained. "You can do so much with it. Well, except set it on fire."

Hamilton firefighters who responded to the scene found Wellcop shaken, but okay. "He had a little singed hair but was otherwise no worse for the wear."

Wellcop said he plans to continue sculpting in wax, but will return to less combustible characters.