When Pain Feels Good

It's a quiet shame. Those who do it keep it quiet, and those who know about it don't talk about it. Today, more than ever, people are looking for an outlet for pain of all kinds. Often, in this crazy, hectic world, people find themselves in situations for which they are completely unprepared. I just saw a news story about a young girl who killed herself, at least partially, because of treatment she received via MySpace. I'm not going to bash MySpace, so don't look for that here. Rather, I am bringing that up to show that everyone-- adults, adolescents, and children-- has a variety of stressors that didn't exist in the past. We are all exposed to more people, more temptation, and more uncertainty than we used to be. How we deal with those are what makes us...or breaks us.

I'm not, in any way, saying that people who self-injure are doing so because of these influences per se. And I'm not saying that people didn't self-injure before now. We just hear about it now. I know people who did this long before it had a name, or any notoriety. But WHY? Why would someone want to hurt himself/herself? That is the million dollar question, isn't it? What do they get out of it? That is what I have tried to figure out in order to help myself and some people I care deeply about. This is what I have learned:

1. People who self-injur are NORMAL people. They do the same daily activities that the rest of the world does, they just carry a secret with them while they do them.
2. Self-injury is a coping mechanism. When emotional pain/uncertainty gets high, they cannot deal with it. They have no other way to "let it out" so they injure. They may pull hair, cut, hit, bite, etc. They do it to feel the physical pain and to help ebb the emotional pain.