Wheelchair Humor: Volume I

Sometimes You're the Toe, Sometimes You're the Guy in the Wheelchair

Since I was 17, I've used a wheelchair. All credit goes to a rare neuromuscular disease! There you go, that's all the background you need on me...

Well, before going to college (pop. 35,000+), I was probably under the naïve impression that nearly every person intellectually marinates their opinions and actions before spewing them out. This was undoubtedly due to me (A) Coming from a class of one for the last 6 years (Home schooled), (B) Not having cable TV, and (C) Being stupid (I don't think anyone becomes un-stupid with age, they just learn to hide it better).

*****Cue 1^st Story *****

In college, I went door-to-door in my power wheelchair for one of those precious group projects for a marketing research class. One of the people I surveyed in person (I was by myself. Group project = The person who wants a good grade does most of the work) was a lady probably in her late 70's. At the beginning of the survey I told her that all respondents had a chance to win a gift card to the local shopping mall. She then asked that if she won, could she give the gift card to someone else. I told her that she could do whatever she wanted to with the card. "Can I give it to you?" she asked. Curious, I replied "Why would you give it to me?" "Because," she informed me, "you're a cripple."

*****ThunderWheels (2^nd Story)*****

Whenever I finish reading every square-inch of the latest on AssociatedContent.com, and if those wonderful TV execs, in their infinite wisdom, decide to subject me to an According to Jim marathon or an Everybody Loves Raymond rerun that is airing for the 2,080^th time, I grace the local YMCA with my presence. It's my pursuit to develop the sculpted physique of a Greek god (I figure I should be there by the end of this month. Isn't there a wheelchair-rolling 5'9", 136 pound Greek god born in Lafayette, Louisiana?).