Why ABC's Bachelor Brad Womack Didn't Propose

After watching the final episode of ABC's The Bachelor on Monday, I was left shocked, confused and irritable after Bachelor Brad Womack selected not to pursue a relationship with either of the final two women.

I calmed myself and expected to learn more on the "After the Final Rose" viewing the next night. But even this show left me confused and annoyed. Listening to Brad Womack try and explain his position was like trying to have a conversation with someone in a foreign language.

I told my boyfriend during the show that if I were DeAnna, I'd have stood up, grabbed both his arms and shook him until his brains fell out his ear. How frustrating!

However, after thinking about it further, it occurred to me that Brad's issue is he doesn't know what real love is. At one point in "After the Final Rose", he mentioned not having "butterflies" and not being able to apologize for "not falling in love" with one of the two women.

What Brad doesn't realize is that those "butterflies" are not what it takes to maintain a successful, loving relationship. The butterflies are what get you there in the first place, but once past that "honeymoon" phase, it takes respect, caring and hard work to maintain it.

You're not going to have butterflies when your wife is in labor, yelling in agony and sweating so her hair sticks to the sides of her head. She's not going to have butterflies when he is stuck in the bathroom all day with the flu. You may not have butterflies when your husband leaves his wet towels laying all over the bathroom and doesn't put the seat down. You may not have butterflies when your wife asks you to go to Home Depot instead of watch football or accompany her to weddings and other family events.

Real love is not a noun. It's a verb. It's something that you do, day in and day out. You make a conscious decision that you enjoy someone's company, respect and value them enough that you commit yourself to them, for better or worse. Even when you're angry. Even when they're not looking their best. Even when you don't feel like it for a day.

This is why Brad couldn't commit to either of the final ladies: he doesn't understand how to love someone.