Parenting Advice: Who Should You Ask?

If you are a first-time parent, especially if you're a young mother, you know what it feels like to be swamped in advice. Your parents, your in-laws, your friends, even people at the park or store; everyone has something to tell you about parenting.

You are not obligated to take the advice of anyone. You are the mother to your child. No one knows a baby better than its mommy. Try to control your temper, when necessary, and politely leave the conversation. I have had people physically pull the pacifier out of my daughter's mouth and then lecture me about why she shouldn't have a pacifier! I took it back, gave it back to my daughter, and walked away.

Could there, however, be some benefits to all this advice as well?

Even though our kids expect us to know everything, we don't. You might be unsure about how to start weaning your baby, or when to start potty-training your toddler. Is it three a.m., and your little one is awake and screaming, again?

Why not ask someone who has already been through it? In my experience, the useful advice I've received is the advice that I've actually asked for. If you ask for advice, you have two benefits. It means that you can ask someone you actually trust (as opposed to the random people who give you advice, many of whom have never had kids), and that it's about a topic relevant to you. If you don't have any problems with breastfeeding, than advice about breastfeeding is useless to you. But if you're worried about a bed time routine, talking about that can be helpful. You don't have to do exactly what any other mother does, but you can get ideas and reassurance.