The Stages of Grief

If you or a loved one are experiencing grief for some reason, times can be difficult. It is hard to give or accept help without understanding of what the grieving person is going through. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, a Swiss doctor, pinpointed five stages of grief that many individuals experience. Understanding these stages can help you understand what a grieving person is going through.

Not everyone experiences all of these stages in this order, but many do. The first stage of grief is denial. The individual in question does not accept what is happening to them, whether it be their own possible death or that of a loved one. This denial can be conscious or unconscious. If the situation at hand can be ignored, the denial stage can go on for quite some time. An example of this is someone refusing to accept the diagnosis of a terminal illness.

The second stage of grief is anger. The grieving person may be angry with themselves or with the world in general. They may direct their anger at those close to them. Keep this stage in mind if a loved one is experiencing a loss. They probably aren't really angry at you; they are likely mad at a situation and directing their anger elsewhere.

Bargaining is the next stage in grief. If the situation is not serious trauma, such as the end of a relationship, an individual may plead to remain friends. If one is facing death, however, they may begin bargaining with whatever higher power they believe in. Bargaining may include things like "If you spare me/my loved one, I'll do...."

Depression often occurs next in the grieving process. In this stage, it is as if the person is experiencing a dress rehearsal for what the outcome of the expected event is. For example, if a loved one is about to die, an individual may become depressed because they expect to be depressed after the death. Depression is a sign that the person has accepted that the event in question will really happen.