WHAT is the PROBLEM?

The first step to correctly rectifying a problem is to proper identification. Many individuals have poor coping mechanisms and few problem-solving skills. Their time and energy is spent worrying or working on the wrong problem, or blaming others for their shortcomings. When we blame others, we get no closer to "real" relationships or solutions. It does not identify our own frustration with and does not focus our attention on the problem. It is the proverbial dog chasing his own tail, because nothing gets resolved. If anything, the problems get compounded.

Only the fortunate, indeed, are afforded the luxury of being problem free. We are human, fallible, and all fall short of the glory of God. No matter how much intellect we have, there are segments of life that lack common sense. We try to use our intellect and emotions as a road map, but are often blinded by defense mechanisms that cloud our thought process. For many people intellectual and emotional maps are contradictory, with few, if any, crossing points.

There are other problems that completely cloud, and impair judgment. These are very evident in the stupor of the addicted individual who seeks to cure the problem with the very source that compounds the problem. In some cases the cure is worse that the disease. This is evident in individuals who avoid relationships because of past pain. And, much more true of the co-dependent that tries to control others to reduce his own feeling of inadequacy.

In some cases what we use to seek relief IS the problem. If, that sounds like insanity, you may be right. An example of these is individuals whose self-image will allow for insanity, but not to admit addiction. The compulsive behavior is the problem used to relieve the stress is actually contributing to the cause.