UFC Primer: A Practical Guide for MMA Fight Newbies

I'll admit it. I've only recently started watching UFC matches and The Ultimate Fighter show in the last couple of years. Normally the sight of two sweaty men writhing around on a floor sent me running out of the room. But now, both the matches and the show have been compelling. So,
 slowly I've begun to understand this thing called MMA or mixed martial arts.

We will be discussing some basic terms used in the course of a UFC match. I'm coming at you with the disclaimer that I am most certainly NOT a MMA practitioner. I have, however, studied a traditional martial art for a number of years. We are strikers and our game is most definitely stand up. That being said, I can apply my training to what you and I are seeing on the screen. If I'm completely wrong about something then give me some feedback. My glass is always empty, ready to be filled. Preferably with beer! So, tape up your hands and check your cup, we're going into the Octagon to settle a score. Here are the terms.

Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu -- This is the MMA de-facto martial art. It *is* "mixed martial art" but Brazilian jiujitsu, invented and perfected by Carlos and Helio Gracie most typifies the tactics and strategy of most of the action in the ground game of UFC. It helps that the tour de force that was and is the Gracie's helped to turn the UFC from a curiosity to a full-fledged sporting juggernaut.

Ground and Pound -- Take your opponent down to the ground and pound the living daylights out of him with your fists and/or elbows. If that doesn't work, put a submission hold/technique on him. He'll be tapping soon enough.

Submission -- Defeat your opponent using any type of move that involves a hold of some kind or a choke. No punching or kicking here.

Tap Out -- You just said "Uncle!" Game over man. Tap whatever is convenient to tap so that the referee will stop the pain!

Pass Out -- Go off to the land of make believe. A lot of fighters will refuse to tap out and just take it like a man. No tappity tap tap here. Just lay back and dream of your next fight against a chump. Maybe you'll finally earn your 5 G's!